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Showing posts with the label Feelings

ALMOST 2 8 T H

  First of all, I've no idea if anyone cared to read my pretty dead blog but thanks for checking in! What a crazy year not gonna lie... How naive of me to assume this year will be somewhat normal but I guess 2022 is the year that is somewhat normal i guess 😣 I'm not sure how I feel about another birthday in lockdown... But shh i kinda enjoy it because i dont have to socalise ahahaha  These past few months has been a whirlwind for me. Passing of grandma, lose a job then having another job all within weeks ... It's been pretty hard not being able to be with family for almost 2 years and not being able to see grandma one last time before she left. Can't help feeling the lockdown fatigue even for an extreme introvert like me.  I MISS TRAVELLING and having something to look forward to, I know you can totally relate here.. But this year has taught me to be a plant parent starting from April'21 which I am grateful for because I never had a consistent hobby and I am so hap

2 0 2 1; Does it get any better?

  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  to whoever is reading this 👌 Congratulations for surviving the awful 2020 (or if you had a good one, good for you!) So let's do the mandatory 2020 reflection... To be honest,  you gonna get real disappointed in me because I am such an uneventful person. I didn't do anything fun but that was expected with what's going on plus I ain't good at socializing anymore anyway omg

2 7 T H;

 Just like what the title states...

Mid 2020 Update;

First of all, I hope everyone is safe and well. Can't believe it's June already!!  (it happens with every goddamn posts here I am sorry) I should just stop acting like I am surprised because ... wtf 

We are all in this... TOGETHER //

2020 has been fucking insane Hope you guys are all doing okay despite all the crazy shit that is happening. Please stay safe, hygienic and keep calm  (even though it's absolutely impossible at times) warning: this will not be my usual sort of everyday life rant

2 6 T H

Holy hell Twenty Six .......... I just still can't fathom. This year I am doing very differently ever since last year REALLY HIT ME HARD As in mentally or overthinking or maybe just quarter fucking life crisis IDK I decided to turn off the social media birthday reminder bullshit And I can truly see who is there or maybe it's just a way to feel good knowing hey, people might just not remember your birthday rather than knowing people KNOWS but they just truly don't give a shit about you... you know what I mean. & you know what,  it really helps. I don't feel as beaten and I actually love the low key-ness. I know. I fucking know people care about me. Just the birthday wishes thing kinda turned me off when I remember people's birthday and they don't fucking do the same, you know You will be like,  "OMG you fucking drama queen STFU" I keep telling myself that too don't worry HAHA ...... Okay back

Mid-2019 Update;

HELLOOOO HUMANS. This is just gonna be a random life update not that anyone cares  & can you freaking believe it's JUNE already guys?!?!?!?! I still can't seem to process.... I feel like you guys are so fed up with me constantly starting the post with omg it's blahblahblah omg it's the end of the year omg the sky is falling down but SORRY, I JUST CANT DEAL WITH THE TIME FLYING SO DAMN FAST OKAY Please dont hate me T_______T

Home Bound 2019;

30th January ,  A family reunion! It felt weird at first and with the miscommunication earlier,  my family waited for me at KLIA instead of KLIA 2.  So I didn't get to hug them when I first saw them, instead, my sister and my mum got down from the opposite lane just to help me with my luggage (rushing) and quickly get back into my dad's car.

2 5 T H

I remember when I was younger,  I thought anyone that is over 23 years old seemed so mature and steady, having it all figured out. But for me, right after I turned 22, I felt like I sorta stopped growing. Birthdays have just been really just-another-ordinary-day and lesser friends or acquaintances wishing me as each year goes by. To be honest, it kinda hurts because it makes me wonder if people just don't give a shit about you anymore or? So much FOMO going on as each birthdays gone by. Am I really worthy? Do I not really matter anymore? It really sucks when I kinda measure up to the importance of myself comparing to others. I have just been really emotional knowing I AM FREAKING 25 and wtf am I doing with my life. Damn that social media is toxic but somehow, it does help in knowing where I stand. .... I no longer wanting to wish for anything because it just doesn't measure up to what I wanted. Especially after being at this

Memorable but Not-So-Rewarding Pasts;

Had a scroll through my Facebook convos and the more I scrolled,  the more I felt like I have no clue why was I the way I was before. I did not like what and how I was before. I felt so distant. Don't get me wrong,  there were some really good memories of certain people but they can only stay in the pasts. I always get nostalgic over memories about people that I used to talk or hang out back then, as I came across their posts and see how well they are doing; Somehow I get so bitter that I was not part of their journey anymore. It's sad, it really is. HOWEVER, those feelings aside once in a blue moon, I have changed so much and I am safe to say, I like myself the way I am right now. Not so much on the social skills/life side, but at least I have learned so much.  Especially about my comfort zone and circle, To keep it small and simple . This is what I needed right now.

My life so far... Mid 2018 version.

Oh man. Is anyone still out there trying to keep up with my life? Because, really, nothing major happened. It has been too long. Let's see what had happened all these time (including the last part of 2017) Had an office admin job till February 2018 but I guess it's not quite an Australian culture but it was definitely a good (dramatic) experience dealing with all sorts of people. Lost Tim, his 2nd dog mid March :'( I cried hard Finally moved out of ex land lady's place after 3 years. AND MAN, I HATE MOVING Attended a friend's wedding that I thought I might not be invited went to Jacob Collier's and Imagine Dragons' concert with my concert buddy, Ric Now back to the same old boring yet poor routine T______T Goddamn I have yet to practice how to be less awkward omg You have no idea how ridiculous my social anxiety had cost me .______. Still can't believe I am turning 25 because whenever I talk to anyone at all, I felt like my life was

Lost.

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Marching into May of 2017. I gotta say I achieved nothing in general. Still on the same old steps. I have lots to update this abandoned blog. I am pretty ashamed of myself for not updating it even monthly now OMG I will regret for sure for not jotting all the little things down >:( I'm trying to rethink what have I done for the past 4 months. . . . . . .. NOTHING GREAT. well, end of February, Jane was around so we went cafe hopping and exploring, that was pretty fun and also, I did manage to check out Porter Robinson live with him, that's a first and great experience! Other than that trying to juggle both social life and money, it just makes me wanna drown LOL It's a fucking struggle guys. Other than that, most of the time I was feeling bitter over people travelling to Japan like during March and April, that is not great. Did went to Portarlington during April? It was fun but again, the weather sucks. How is it possible that it's a

Max, the wonderful golden retriever.

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How can I ever resist his puppy eyes? EVER? This post is dedicated to Max. I've never own a dog before. I always wanted to and it all started because of this dog name Max here. Because of Max, I learned how easy it is to pat a dog and with Max here, trying to be friendly every single time I was over (or with anyone or everyone else), he's the best ice breaker. Thinking that without Max at his place, it would be so odd. I love just watching Max do anything at all. Miss having him just playing his paw game with me, putting one of his paw on my hand and when he felt comfortable, he'll try to put another paw on me. He loves all the attention and same goes to me, I love giving him the attention that he needs. Now that he's gone, it just felt really depressing. The moment I heard about the news, I can't help having tears rolling down from my eyes. Knowing that I didn't get to see him for the one last time before he got put down. I should have gone ov

2016 Recap.

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2016 I've had so much to write and they're all still in my drafts. I am pretty terrible this year. I have not done much this year and did not achieve much this year. Still cannot get over the fact that 2016 is coming to an end in less than a week  ðŸ˜­ I HATE IT. There's so much things I wish to accomplish but it just zoomed by in a blink of an eye. I have to admit this year is not one of those years that I adore. I realized how terrible I am this year. Definitely did not cross off the working on friendship bucket list that I made last year. It's all bullshit. I think I made it worse actually pfft. I'm just so tired. work drains me so much and all the time that I've got left, either i spend it with him or i decided to give it all to myself because I miss having my alone time. Plus the time I've left will be like just days where it's not when others are free so it is a STRUGGLE. Yeah yeah I keep putting the blame on time becaus

"Limit time with people and situations that drain your energy.";

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"Smile more, worry less." (easy said than done) 20160724 The usual Sundays aka BORING ... Skyped with the mama. knowing that both me and my sister is not around for this month cuz sister had the student exchange program for a month in korea! Her dream had finally came true LOL 20160725 Monday blues for sure! 20160727 Trying this bubba cup cold drip and it was goooood! Anyway the waitress was kinda awkward but she complimented my choker ahahahah She said "i like your choker" literally. It felt really good alright to be complimented. Unlike those bitches scanning/looking at you from head to toe like wtf RUDE 20160729 Morning coffee at TUKK N CO. amazing interior. Upstairs coffee and downstairs leads to food! ... Night catch up with the bunch for JB's belated. YAMI YAMI > Lindt Everyone is playing pokemon go tsk tsk 20160730 Coffee @ Omar & the Marvelous Bird ... Ice cream craving fixed @ Pida