2 5 T H

I remember when I was younger, 

I thought anyone that is over 23 years old seemed so mature and steady,

having it all figured out.

But for me,

right after I turned 22,

I felt like I sorta stopped growing.

Birthdays have just been really just-another-ordinary-day

and lesser friends or acquaintances wishing me as each year goes by.

To be honest, it kinda hurts because it makes me wonder if people just don't give a shit about you anymore or?

So much FOMO going on as each birthdays gone by.

Am I really worthy?

Do I not really matter anymore?

It really sucks when I kinda measure up to the importance of myself comparing to others.

I have just been really emotional knowing I AM FREAKING 25 and wtf am I doing with my life.

Damn that social media is toxic but somehow, it does help in knowing where I stand.

....

I no longer wanting to wish for anything because it just doesn't measure up to what I wanted.

Especially after being at this age, 

with me still having the same old boring routine,

same old job,

no achievements and whatsoever,

it will just be ultimately depressing.

....

All I want is for myself to try to stay away from my overthinking mindset,

start being grateful to whoever is standing by me,

appreciate the littlest things,

be less fear to changes (my weakest point).

Happy Birthday to me,

and quarter life crisis, 

welcome to my life, 

even though I knew you existed right after I turned 21 >:(