TRAVELLYAN.

Holy hell Twenty Six .......... I just still can't fathom. This year I am doing very differently ever since last year REALLY HIT ME HARD As in mentally or overthinking or maybe just quarter fucking life crisis IDK I decided to turn off the social media birthday reminder bullshit And I can truly see who is there or maybe it's just a way to feel good knowing hey, people might just not remember your birthday rather than knowing people KNOWS but they just truly don't give a shit about you... you know what I mean. & you know what,  it really helps. I don't feel as beaten and I actually love the low key-ness. I know. I fucking know people care about me. Just the birthday wishes thing kinda turned me off when I remember people's birthday and they don't fucking do the same, you know You will be like,  "OMG you fucking drama queen STFU" I keep telling myself that too don't worry HAHA ...... Okay back

HELLOOOO HUMANS. This is just gonna be a random life update not that anyone cares  & can you freaking believe it's JUNE already guys?!?!?!?! I still can't seem to process.... I feel like you guys are so fed up with me constantly starting the post with omg it's blahblahblah omg it's the end of the year omg the sky is falling down but SORRY, I JUST CANT DEAL WITH THE TIME FLYING SO DAMN FAST OKAY Please dont hate me T_______T

30th January ,  A family reunion! It felt weird at first and with the miscommunication earlier,  my family waited for me at KLIA instead of KLIA 2.  So I didn't get to hug them when I first saw them, instead, my sister and my mum got down from the opposite lane just to help me with my luggage (rushing) and quickly get back into my dad's car.

Hey if you are reading this, have a happy 2019 ahead guys! Ready for my rants?! 

Not sure if it's just me but as each year goes by,  the more I dread adulthood. First of all it's the friendship . I have no clue on what's real anymore. Or more like if there's still friendship left? I am not targeting anyone in particular because maybe it was my fault that people felt like I am not gonna be there for them (?) who knows. So I learn how to be alone and perhaps.. a little too comfortable that I forgot how to function in groups. Also in the recent years, I fucking hate myself during group outings. I dread small talks. I became fucking awkward and I just can't deal with it. I get fucking anxious. Also, it gets quite confusing knowing who will actually stand by your side and who's not. If only mind games doesn't exist. SIGHHHH I am just really annoyed at myself. Pardon me for all the rants. Sending you the negative vibes ...  I needed some place to vent and this is the only space that I can do it freely. without w

I remember when I was younger,  I thought anyone that is over 23 years old seemed so mature and steady, having it all figured out. But for me, right after I turned 22, I felt like I sorta stopped growing. Birthdays have just been really just-another-ordinary-day and lesser friends or acquaintances wishing me as each year goes by. To be honest, it kinda hurts because it makes me wonder if people just don't give a shit about you anymore or? So much FOMO going on as each birthdays gone by. Am I really worthy? Do I not really matter anymore? It really sucks when I kinda measure up to the importance of myself comparing to others. I have just been really emotional knowing I AM FREAKING 25 and wtf am I doing with my life. Damn that social media is toxic but somehow, it does help in knowing where I stand. .... I no longer wanting to wish for anything because it just doesn't measure up to what I wanted. Especially after being at this