Adulthood F-ing Sucks | VENT

Not sure if it's just me but
as each year goes by,
 the more I dread adulthood.

First of all it's the friendship.

I have no clue on what's real anymore.
Or more like if there's still friendship left?

I am not targeting anyone in particular because maybe it was my fault that people felt like I am not gonna be there for them (?) who knows.

So I learn how to be alone and perhaps.. a little too comfortable that I forgot how to function in groups.

Also in the recent years,
I fucking hate myself during group outings.
I dread small talks.
I became fucking awkward and I just can't deal with it.
I get fucking anxious.

Also, it gets quite confusing knowing who will actually stand by your side and who's not.

If only mind games doesn't exist.


SIGHHHH

I am just really annoyed at myself.
Pardon me for all the rants.
Sending you the negative vibes ...

 I needed some place to vent and this is the only space that I can do it freely.
without worrying about people judging because no one cares about my space here LOL

.....


I guess the next pain was all about the finances or peer pressure

Everyone has like a decent job and been travelling possibly all around the world and I am here just like wtf is going on with my life

I know I know that I should shut the fuck up and complain less but dude...

I just can't help it.
 I just felt so lousy knowing I am fucking 25 and I still feel like a fucking kid with a zero progress mentality.


ARGH


The existential crisis that I am feeling right now is 100000000000%

why why and whyyyyy



How do I even get to this point.
 I probably deserve/dont deserve it.
I don't even know.

Do i even fucking care?
Do i even give a shit?

I guess I do .____________.

If not why would I be venting anyway.