Homesickness

Time sure flies.

It's been more than 2 months I've been far away from home.

I thought I was doing fine until today, all the memories come crawling in...

I blame autumn!

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I still remember how afraid I was few weeks before I came to Melbourne. Almost everything or anything that relates can easily trigger my emotion. I spent my nights crying, thinking how am I gonna live without them. I had never been away from home for more than a week, to be frank. 

Couldn't help thinking that I am never going to see them every day or whenever I want to. No more spontaneous yumcha whenever we feel like it. No more dad's home cooked food. No more hanging out with the relatives every weekend. Etc etc. NO MORE MALAYSIAN FOOD. 

From Foodspotting.com

Especially this! Damn it.

Ah well. It's been really tough having the thought of leaving. Yeah, people will say sure, keep in touch and stuffs but who knows what'll happen within a year or even, just a few months. Having the struggle to agree with them but deep down, I am terrified of the changes.

I still remember, one month before I flew to Melbourne, my mum was the one who is more worried than I am. She helped me packed my stuffs and every night, she'll ask what else I need. Then after that, we will have the mother and daughter talk. Come to think of it, during that period, time spent with her was kinda limited because she has been working till late evening and I was working part time even during the weekends / met up with friends so we hardly even got the time to see each other :O .

 All we did was just the casual talk like how is she doing at work and mine bla bla but every time in the middle of the conversation, my nose will become super sour-ish and tears will start rolling down. I will try my very best to hide it from her; afraid that she'll do the same. 

Every time after the talk, makes me feel even guiltier and how inconsiderate am I to choose this path. I still wonder whether if this decision was wise. Hmm.
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Why am I homesick all of a sudden? 

It's all because I went grocery shopping alone and realized how much I miss grocery shopping with my mum and sister instead. My mum will always be forbidding me to buy sweets or seaweeds and any other junk foods but I choose to ignore her and she bought it for me anyways :')

Sigh. Mother's day is coming up and I am not around to celebrate with her. Such sadness.

I better get myself altogether again. I can do this! 

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Backbones!

Kazoku :')

Till then, toodles.